I
sit in class and listen to you berate someone..."Faggots. Queers." I
turn to my friend. She's a lesbian. She shakes her head at me as I begin
my lecture. "Who are you to assume that because two guys are sitting
by each other, they're homosexual? What does that even have to do with
the conversation??" I'm ignored, and she places her hand on my shoulder.
"Hon, you have to understand. They aren't like us. They aren't intelligent,
and they don't understand." I bite my lip and stare into her eyes. Now
I think...now would be the time to tell her. Tell her how much I care
about her, how she makes me tingle, and laugh when I have no reason.
I can't. I'm so scared. Of rejection, of the hurt and the pain I know
this might cause. My parents...I know they'd be understanding, but they
would never look at me quite the same. This weekend I will take her
with me to see Boys Don't Cry. I hope she'll like it. I hope that somehow,
she'll turn to me and touch me, and everything will be alright. But
I know it won't. Because if she does, and I do, people will talk. They
will talk and jeer and curse at us. I know just what they'll say. "Filthy
dykes! Fucking lesbians!" It doesn't matter that I'm attracted to guys
as well, that she's just so perfect, she's the only woman I'd ever be
with...They can't see that. Until I, and so many others like me can
feel safe, safe to stand up and say (in her words) "Hey, hey, hey! I
am GAY! I am les-bi-an. Lez-be-in some catagory or another, doesn't
that sound like fun?" then I will not be free. We can speak our minds,
We can act as we wish, but when ignorance and hate remain, none are
free...